Air-Cooled VW Owners Credo
Courtesy of Steven Johnson (sjohnson@pcocd2.intel.com)...
(Raise your right hand and repeat after me)
I am a Volkswagen owner and solomly swear to:
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Make sure that valves are adjusted by myself each and
every 3000 miles or 3 months whichever comes first.
-
Change the oil, myself, every 3000 miles or every 3
months whichever comes first.
-
I will occasionally thumb my nose at the various
'quickie' oil/lube places when I pass them by.
-
Never lug or race the engine on uphills or downhills.
-
Lay awake at night thinking about what that noise was
when I drove home from work today.
-
Always include something about VWs in almost every
conversation with my SO [Significant Other].
-
Take the ribbing, cussing and screaming that my SO
gives me for the previously mentioned act.
-
For at least 30 minutes a week I will lay on my back underneath my VW
talking to it and myself and contemplate future maintenance and
modification for it.
-
Make sure that my greasy garage cloths are kept
separate from the rest of the laundary.
-
Have at least 3 manuals devoted to my VWs model year.
-
Keep my greasy 'mitts' off of my SO's clean towels.
-
Be damn sure to wear my 'car working' clothes and not
my good ones when I proceed to do any work on my car.
-
I will keep a set of 'car working' clothes or coveralls
in my VW at all times for emergency repair work.
-
I will keep a tube or tub of hand cleaner in my VW at
all times.
-
That the top ten items on my Christmas/Birthday/Anniversay
list are VW related.
-
Make sure that any gifts I buy my SO are not VW related.
-
At least 3 of my shirts and hats have some kind of VW
emblem on them.
-
I know all of the VW FLAPS [Friendly Local Auto Parts Store] in town and have memorized
all of their phone numbers.
-
Own a torque wrench and understand how to use it.
-
Keep a record book of my VWs maintenance history.
-
Show that record book to everyone that comes over as
if were pictures of a brand new baby.
-
Explain to my SO that my VW is my baby.
-
Learn to recite in your head your VWs entire maintenance
schedule so you can do it while brushing your teeth.
-
Know that there is no such thing as 'borrowing oil'.
-
Know exactly how many miles you have left to drive before
you run out of gas.
-
Have all the necessary parts and tools ready for when you
break down.
-
Know all the phone numbers you need to call if you can't
fix it.
-
Learn how to sleep in my VW.
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Learn how to push my VW.
-
Learn how to drive my VW with a broken clutch cable.
-
Learn to keep a spare clutch cable in my VW.
-
Make sure the top 5 numbers on all my phone lists are
VW related.
-
My desk at work has VW related items on it.
-
Make sure that when anyone at my work has a problem with
their VW, I am the first person they call.
-
Be the only one to add or take any fluids to or from my VW.
-
And finally, understand that I am a VW nut and not everyone
can comprehend this... ability... and cannot understand why
I eat, drink, breath, stink and sleep Volkswagens. I can only
accept that I do and therefore, will act and behave accordingly...
So (please) help me [insert your deity here].
(You may now lower your right hand :)