----NEWS FLASH ----- Power Blender FAILS at Jim Guthrie Party last PM.... Accusations Abound.... Americans Blame Foreigners..... Foreigners Blame Americans..... ........INTERNATIONAL FUROR !!!!........ Dateline 7/2/97 - 6:11 PM - Pauma Valley, California Proper Blendage & Crushage came to an abrupt HALT during the first batch of WEED WACKED MARGARITAS during a "Salute to Holland Dune Buggy Club" barbecue and revelry. The FUROR began with Uproarious Insults about the Design Engineer and his capabilities to properly support and imbibe the YBDB and Manx Club members in the fashion to which they had become accustomed. The Design Engineer immediately blamed the failure on the Vendor that Procured the failed parts. "Holy Excrement !!" he blasphemed as he discovered that the engine spun at an incredible pace but the "Potent Concoction" was bestilled in the night in Margaritaville. It was at this point that the Guthrie contingency began the insinuations that went something like : "Cut Rate" "Cheesey" "It's Plastic, Its gotta FAIL". The insults were directed at the High Quality "American MADE" (i.e. American Vermont) RIGHT ANGLE DRIVE GEAR ASSEMBLY. The Design Engineer knew better, after all, his entire education, family, and heritage had just been drug through the mud by "Doubious, Doubting, and generally Mis-informed By-Standers" with questionable heritage. The Design Engineer proceeded to Dis-Assemble the "Power Blender" on the spot to end the "Raucous Innuendoes" and determine the TRUE cause of the "INFAMOUS FAILURE". The Design Engineer was a "Blur" as he speedily Un-screwed, Un-bolted, and Dis-assembled the "World Famous" Power Blender to defend his name, honor, and family. Off came the "GREEN DRAIN COVER". Off came the "RIGHT ANGLE Support Infrastructure". Out came the (American Made) American Vermont - RIGHT ANGLE DRIVE GEAR ASSEMBLY. The Design Engineer grabbed the "Business End" and then the "Blender Power Insertion Take-off Adapter" and gave the RIGHT ANGLE DRIVE GEAR ASSEMBLY a Healthy TWIST. "No Slippage Here !!" he exclaimed with a sigh of relief that could only be fully appreciated by someone who had just suffered the "Slings and Arrows" of the "Dubious, Doubting, and generally Mis-informed By-Standers". "WA's LAW" and "Eureka, I have found it !" the Design Engineer proclaimed with glee as he examined the "High Power INPUT Adapter Assembly Unit" (5/8 inch socket) attached to the "ICE Lock-up Prevention Centrifugal Clutch Assembly Do-Da". All of the 12 points of the "High Power INPUT Adapter Assembly Unit " (5/8 inch socket) were missing and causing the unit to spin freely without turning the (American Made) American Vermont - RIGHT ANGLE DRIVE GEAR ASSEMBLY. "I am PLACATED of the Evil Accusations" the Design Engineer shrilled as he took a closer look at the failed "High Power INPUT Adapter Assembly Unit" (5/8 inch socket). Clearly printed on the side of the failed device were the letters that were to implicate the heritage of the failed component for all the world to know. The letters spelled out "APAN" "The Vendor has substituted with Non- MIL- Certified Parts !!!" he cried in dismay.... "There will be HELLAND to Pay !!!" he shrieked in the cool evening air that was just beginning to turn BLUE. "This is the FIRST High Power INPUT Adapter Assembly Unit (5/8 inch socket) that I have ever seen stripped as SMOOTH as a Baby's Bottom" the Design Engineer stated matter of factly with an air of certainty derived from years of experience. It was clearly a case of "Non-Certified , Low Grade, Materials" being substituted where the "Highest Quality" American STEEL was required. "What the HELL do they make their tools out of anyway ?" "Pot-metal ?" "Re-cycled nails ?" At this point the Design Engineer was completely vindicated, however, the "Salute to Holland Dune Buggy Club" barbecue and revelry continued to go "DOWN HILL" when Guthrie pulled out his "BACKUP" electric blender and eschewed denigrating remarks like "My Electric Blender makes Margaritas that taste better than that BROKEN DOWN gasoline job !" It was shortly thereafter that "Big Jim" got cut off from the "Flowage" of the "Potent Concoction" that was whirring in the night in Margaritaville.
